Gods Help Us
by Serenitychan13
Summary: A companion piece, sort of a prequel bit, to AmazonTurk's Operation: Assassination. Here we see how Niki meets and is brought into the Turks. Rated for language and violence.
1. ShinRa Dogcatchers

ShinRa Dogcatchers

A Companion Piece to AmazonTurk's "Operation: Assassination" by Serenity-chan

The barking was getting louder and louder and a couple of cats could be heard in there, as well as something that didn't quite sound entirely animal. A couple of men off the street had been called upon to help break up the maelstrom of mammals mucking up the main sidewalk of Midgar. One of them had already sustained a serious bite on his hand from a large dog that looked like a cross between a Great Pyrenees and Red XIII. Another man had been caught in the middle of the chaos and had been bitten on the shoulder by what was not so much a dog as a rat with long legs. And the damned Chihuahua wouldn't let the fuck go! Soon, three other dogs had set on him - a retriever of some sort, a terrier not matching any breed description, and a Heinz-57 mutt that could have been anything and come from anywhere. A young policewoman was trying to dislodge a Jack Russell from her pant leg without hurting the dog. One of the cats in the mix clawed its way up a tree and launched at the first man's head.

"Okay! This is too much!" yelled the policewoman, dragging the terrier with her and throwing up her hands in a combination of exasperation and exhaustion. "I'm calling ShinRa."

"They have an animal control service?" asked the man who had been bitten first and was now trying to dodge a very angry cat who had indeed launched out of the tree.

The young policewoman shrugged.

"Well they've got everything else, don't they?" she asked rhetorically. "Anyway... It's our best bet."

The second man approached the policewoman angrily, scattering the three dogs that had set on him as the Chihuahua finally detached from his shoulder - he was apparently the resident here.

"If you people would do your jobs, we would have packs of wild animals roaming through Midgar!" he snarled loudly at her, sounding quite a bit like some of his four-footed adversaries, as he hauled a rather impressive shotgun over his shoulder. "I say just shoot 'em and be done with it!"

Sighing and trying to keep her cool, the policewoman shook her head.

"Not in a residential area, sir," she grated out - this man was the type who got on her nerves very quickly.

The policewoman whipped out a cell phone and punched in a three-digit number. Raising the apparatus to her ear, she continued watching the dogs back the humans away from them. Several more men had come in off the streets at hearing and seeing the chaos. One man was actually locked in a wrestling match with a big boarhound - between a six-foot-three construction worker and the boarhound, the dog was winning. Another man, this one built medium-height and wiry as a lightweight boxer, was playing chicken with... a Boxer named Hunter. The policewoman recognized this one as a friend of a family pet - her cousin Yolande's Schnoodle, Becca, had wound up having puppies with this dog. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the homeowner aiming his shotgun. She snapped her phone closed without waiting for it to pick up and went to deal with the situation.

"HEY! Not only is this a residential area, but I can guarantee you at least one of those animals is a family pet listed on the ShinRa registry," she yelled angrily, putting a firm hand on his shoulder. "You'll have property damage charges on you on top of the 'discharging a weapon in a residential area' that I'd slap on your ass quicker than you can say 'dogcatcher'!"

Growling obscenities under his breath, the homeowner lowered his gun. The policewoman opened her phone again and punched in the same three-digit number. She waited a moment and a male voice answered the phone with the normal "_You have contacted the ShinRa Building in upper Midgar, to which department should I connect you?_" speech. After a short description of the situation, the young policewoman put in her request for the Animal Control department. The crisp, polite male voice on the other end affirmed her choice and asked her to hold. _Gods, these ShinRa people have good taste in music!_ she thought as the song "My Girl" played as 'hold, please' music. There was a crackling noise on the other end of the line, interrupting the heavenly sounds of the Temptations, then another voice, this one female, picked up.

"Good afternoon, you have contacted ShinRa Animal Control Services," the female voice, just as polite and crisp as the male one before it, rattled off. "My name is Brandi - how may I help you?"

The young policewoman pinched the bridge of her nose - this crisp politeness made her want to hit people since she didn't need formalities, she needed something DONE!

"Uh, hi... This is Officer Olivia Brighton with Upper Midgar Precint 7... _ow!_" she began, wincing as the OTHER cat from the melee decided now would be a good time to bite her ankle. "There's a bit of a disturbance involving a pack of dogs, a couple of cats, and a rowdy homeowner on 52nd street."

There was a musical laugh from Brandi's end of the line.

"I'm afraid there isn't much we can do about rowdy homeowners," she said politely - Officer Brighton wanted to scream at her. "But we can send someone over to deal with the animals. Can you give us a number on how many animals are involved?"

Officer Brighton made a quick glance around at the bevy of beasts in the brawl before her, trying rather unsuccessfully to count just how many furry bodies were moving around.

"Um... My closest guess is about ten dogs and two cats," she said with almost-certainty. "Yeah, that seems about right."

"That's ten dogs and two cats?" Brandi asked - Officer Brighton confirmed, nodding unneccessarily. "Okay, Officer Brighton, someone should be there in about ten minutes."

Officer Brighton wanted to snarl at the woman on the other end of the line but thought better of it, thanked Brandi, and hung up her cell phone. There were now six grown men trying to fight ten dogs and two cats. Officer Brighton had initially just been irritated when she was called on to do something about the dogs, but now what was going on seemed unusual. Dogs of varying sizes were fighting grown men and winning - even the cats were holding their own. There was definite teamwork going on - not something usually seen in a dogfight and certainly not with cats. Watching the fight carefully, Officer Brighton noticed another individual - a human girl.

The girl was quite petite and looked like she was about sixteen, wearing black pants, a black tank top, and Converse high-top shoes. She wore a small hoop earring in her left ear, two thick chains hung around her neck and she wore two rings on her wedding finger on her left hand. A curtain of straggly, wavy sable hair hung down her back, and self-cut, mostly-grown-out bangs partially obscured her face. She was dodging in and out in a three-way tag-team between the Great Pyrenees/Red XIII cross and a dog even bigger that looked like it was more Dire wolf than dog. Officer Brighton's jaw dropped, as did everyone else's present, as the girl leapt onto the Dire-dog's back and did a loop around the melee, drawing the fight tighter. The construction worker and the boarhound were cut out, excluded from the larger fight.

As the Dire-dog came to a halt and the girl jumped off its back, landing in an almost-graceful crouch - like a cheerleader who hadn't quite practiced enough, the Great XIII, as Officer Brighton had dubbed it, circled around to join in. The boarhound had the construction worker pinned, but instead of going for the throat, he just held the man where he was. Growling something that seemed to be halfway in human language, half something else, the girl called the dog off. Still baring a rather formidable set of teeth, the boarhound stepped off the man. It, the Great XIII and the Dire-dog slunk back and stood their ground at the girl's direction - their positions formed an isoscles triangle around the man. The Dire-dog was at the apex, the shortest distance from the man, with the Great XIII and the boarhound equidistant from and lined up with each other. With the girl standing in position, they formed a rhombus. The other seven dogs were still fighting five grown men and still winning.

Officer Brighton had watched this whole performance in confusion, awe, and a twinge of fear - theories were spinning through her head, each more unlikely than the last. Where had the girl come from and why hadn't anyone seen her in the fight before? Was she a werewolf or something? _No, that's just silly,_ the officer told herself - werewolves were just in stories and movies and costumes at Sinister Season. Then... if that was the case, the girl had to be down on the animals' level... What the hell did that mean? And how was it that the dogs were fighting in an organized manner? It was like they were taking direction from someone - it was obvious that the girl was doing it... But... how!? The young policewoman stumbled over her own brain when she came to the wildest conclusion of all - maybe this girl could _talk to animals_!?

"Stay..."

The first coherent word the young officer had heard the girl use - she had nodded to the boarhound and the Great XIII and was re-taking her place on the Dire-dog's back. Her voice was low and hoarse - probably from a combination of disuse and all that growling. With that, she turned the Dire-dog - Officer Brighton was at a loss to how, considering she didn't say another word or touch the dog at all - and headed back into the fracas. This time she was going after the wiry guy who was still playing chicken with the Boxer - the man was fighting a dog less than half his size and coming off all the worse from it. Officer Brighton checked her watch - _the ShinRa animal control people should be here any minute, _she thought to herself. The animal-girl was repeatedly cutting back and forth across the fight, trying to separate out the man and the Boxer without separating _them._

Staying firmly in their positions, the Great XIII and the boarhound were keeping the construction worker where he was with stares and growls normally associated with Border Collies. Officer Brighton's mind was spinning with a million questions, the most prominent of those being _"What would be the ethical way to get a laboratory to look at this girl?"_ Normally she was against any kind of creature-based invasive research, but this girl's abilities could be used for the greater good. But how was she to go about doing that in a safe, sane, ethical manner? Should she try to get through at ShinRa again? _Well,_ she thought as a howl rang out, _the first thing to do is get hold of her and see what the hell is going on. _The girl might have family looking for her or something like that.

She heard a truck pull up and watched a couple of ShinRa animal control officers hop out - their faces immediately twisted in confusion, the same as hers had first been. It was probably doubly confusing to them, being able to see the girl right off - they had to draw their conclusions quickly. One conclusion, as she observed the man who had been driving the truck, was "call for backup - NOW!" The woman who had accompanied the man pulled a catch-pole out of the back of the truck and advanced on the second cat - the one who had bitten Officer Brighton. A short, roaring shout of "HAH!" rang out over all and the girl riding the Dire-dog stood up on her friend's back and he stopped suddenly. The resulting momentum launched her into the air directly AT the female animal control officer, landing her between the officer and the cat.

"Get away..." the girl growled threateningly, gripping the end of the catch-pole.

The animal control officer, a burly woman in her forties, held fast, trying to shake the girl off - rolling with the momentum, the girl let herself be thrown to the ground. Her grip held fast as the large woman shook the catch-pole back and forth, muttering obscenities. No matter what she did, the girl just would NOT let go - her grip was like a bulldog's teeth and she had the upper body strength to match it. _How does such a little girl have that much fight in her - and even if she has the spirit, how does she have the pure strength to USE it!? _ran the thought in everyone's heads. The large woman was jerking and twisting the pole as viciously as she could, scraping the girl over the ground, but it wasn't working. Another deep, threatening growl escaped the girl's throat and someone yelled "For the love of Odin, Janice - let go!" Not giving up just yet, Janice took one last stab at it, this time pushing the girl with the pole instead of trying to pull it from her - the move pinned her against the curb.

At a rather disturbing, hair-raising, blood-chilling "_rrrrreeeOW!_" sound from the girl, the cat - who had crouched back defensively, ready to help her friend - dashed back into the chaos. The Chihuahua who had been attached to the shotgun-wielding homeowner ran along beside her as a guide. Its companions - the retriever, the terrier, and the Heinz-57 - were now triple-tag-teaming one of the two remaining men. He was a well-known jogger in the area - a triathlon runner, actually - and he was clearly embarrassed to be losing to a bunch of dogs. The remaining dogs - the Jack Russell who had been savaging Officer Brighton's pants and a gigantic St. Bernard - were double-teaming... a transsexual postal worker. Officer Brighton stepped back with a look that said "_Now I've seen everything_".

The girl, pinned on the curb still, was wriggling with everything she had as the man who had driven the animal control truck and the four officers from the other two approached her. _Maybe everything would start dying down now,_ everyone thought - but they were wrong. The Dire-dog slammed Janice from the side, knocking the pole from her hands and freeing the girl, who launched at the larger woman with fingernails unnaturally long. The remaining five animal control officers raced back to their trucks to grab catch-poles of their own, figuring the girl couldn't possibly fight all of them at once. However, the girl had no trouble incapacitating Janice with a solid bite on the kneecap, ripping the woman's khaki pants and bloodying them. The large woman scrambled back to her truck. The animal-girl was back with the Dire-dog, riding through the fight and whooping and howling encouragements to her friends.

One man was coming at the Chihuaha and two were approaching the Jack Russell, all of them wielding catch-poles, knowing that the girl couldn't possibly go after both of them. The Chihuahua and the Jack Russell were on opposite ends of the fight - she couldn't be in two places at once. To make doubly sure, the remaining two men were running after the Dire-dog and brandishing catch-poles at the girl herself, trying to keep her busy. She let loose a loud whistle through her fingers and the Great XIII and the boarhound both charged at the construction worker. However, it was only the boarhound who made contact, just knocking the man over and holding him down. The Great XIII dodged AROUND the man at the last second, skirting in behind the Dire-dog, the girl, and their pursuers.

With a burst of speed, he was hot on one man's heels and with a flying leap, he was on top of the man, breaking the plastic pipe that housed the catch-loop and rendering it useless. Now that the first man was disarmed and on the ground, the Great XIII continued on with insane endurance. He was quickly gaining on the second man, but this man had been a quarterback in high school, big and strong, but also quick on his feet and good at maneuvering. The man spun on his heel and with a quick motion, catch-looped the Great XIII. There was a yell of "YAH!" from the girl and the Dire-dog did a tight circle, barrelling back and knocking him bodily off the ground. His grip detached on impact and, without missing a beat, the girl was down off the Dire-dog - running beside him, had the catchpole off her friend, and broke it smartly against a curb. Without even breaking her stride, the animal-girl vaulted back up on the Dire-dog's back.

A string of short, harsh barks - marching orders - and the Great XIII raced off towards the man approaching the Chihuahua. The little dog's cat friend was trying to get into position to claw her way up the man's leg. As the giant red-and-cream dog raced past him, the wiry man fighting the Boxer took off running away from the chaos. At this point, he didn't care if he was a chicken. The Boxer lifted his head and stood triumphant for a moment, then sprinted off as fast as he could after the Dire-dog. His long, thin, brindled legs moved fast and in strides so sharp and precise that he could have passed for a champion racer. The girl directed her packmates towards the two men who were playing a good game of cat-and-mouse with the Jack Russell. They, the men, might have had the advantage of reach and size, but the plucky dog had lightning-quick reflexes and an uncanny ability to predict their movements. However, this didn't change the fact that he was on the defensive side.

The yell of "HAH!" rang out again and the girl launched off her friend's back, landing beside her little friend - however, this time the Dire-dog didn't stop to help her launch. He kept on going, circling around the two men to keep them from going anywhere or threatening the rest of the pack. The two men were indeed cornered - they couldn't move back or they'd hit the Dire-dog, but moving forward, they dealt with Scrappy Jack and the animal-girl with claws bared. Growling again, the girl flexed her hands, displaying her claws fully - sharp and half an inch long.

"Two on one ain't fair..." she snarled in that low, hoarse voice.

With a roar, she launched at one man, letting the Dire-dog handle the other one and giving Scrappy Jack time to get away.

"SHIT!" yelled the man hit by the Dire-dog, scrambling back away from the maelstrom. "SOMEBODY CALL SHINRA BACK! We canNOT handle this!"

Officer Brighton, who had been warning people away from the fight, pulled out her cell phone and let her partner take over crowd control, quickly punching in the three-digit code.

"_You have contacted the ShinRa Building in upper Midgar, to which department should I connect you?_" rattled the polite, crisp male voice again.

The young policewoman decided against the profanity-laced diatribe she _longed_ to throw at the man on the other end of that phone.

"Yes, this is Officer Victoria Brighton with Upper Midgar Precinct 7," she rattled back out of policy. "I'm calling back about the disturbance on 52nd Street. ShinRa Animal Control Services is in need of urgent assistance. The strongest you've got."

"_Officer, that would be Tseng's office with the Turks,_" the male voice said with polite apprehension. "_Are you absolutely certain this is whom you wish to contact?_"

Officer Brighton once more nodded unneccessarily as she gave an emphatic and authoritative "YES!"

"_One moment please, Officer Brighton,_" said the Voice - this time the 'hold, please' music was the Drifters singing 'Save the Last Dance for Me'. "_Someone will be right with you._"

There was another pause, then some static, and then a _click_.

"_Good afternoon, you've reached the office of the Turks of ShinRa,_" said the once-again-far-too-sickeningly-polite voice of a young female. "_Whom do you wish to speak to and who may I say is calling?_"

Resisting the urge to reach _through the phone_ and strangle this woman, Officer Brighton cleared her throat.

"This is Officer Victoria Brighton, Upper Midgar Precinct 7," she said again. "There is a disturbance on 52nd Street that has gotten too far out of hand for local enforcement. We need the strongest assistance we can get."

The young woman on the other end must have sensed Officer Brighton's urgency through her formal tone.

"_Patching through to Senior Turk,_" she said quickly.

There was another insane pause, then static and a _click_.

"_Office of Senior Turk, Tseng speaking,_" came the smooth, professional voice of ShinRa's finest.

Before even waiting for the rest of the speech she was sure was coming, Officer Brighton launched off into the situation.

"We've got a crapton of wild animals and crazy girl over here on 52nd Street... No, sir... We just can't get them under control... Yes, sir... They've beaten down six grown men, five male animal control officers and Janice... Yes, that Janice..."

Tseng was staring at his phone, which Reno had pressed the 'speaker' button for, since everyone in the office could already hear the officer yelling into the phone. The redhead figured they could at least get some real entertainment out of this whole little brou-haha. His interest was sparked at this - his specialty was the unusual situations, so he figured he was about to get sent out and it was best to know one's enemy. Rude sat quietly at his desk, tapping into the call with Kandi by his side - they both knew Reno would be dragging them along. Tseng's face was the picture of confusion and disbelief - packs of wild animals and a wolf-girl running loose in upper Midgar? What in the hell was going on!? He cut in on the officer's increasing hysterics with his smooth voice.

"Yes, Officer, I have the perfect man for the job... I assure you, it will only take him. He'll bring his partner anyway, just in case... Officer, I really must insist that you calm down - it's becoming impossible to understand you... Ah, I see - that was the wolf-girl... Yes, Officer, someone will be right there..."

The Wutaian man pinched the bridge of his nose as he picked up the reciever of the phone and set it down heavily on the 'disconnect' button. He looked up at the red-haired man sitting casually on his desk with his feet propped on the nearest chair. With a grin, the redhead gave his boss a reprieve, saying "Way ahead of you, Bossman!" as he swung his legs down and jumped to his feet. He yelled for his partner as he strode past the bald man's desk - Rude winced at the noice then got up in silence and Kandi along with him. Tseng nodded rather wearily as Reno called "52nd Street, right Boss?" and ambled out of the room. The Wutaian man hit a specially-labeled button on his phone's intercom and perked up as a light female voice inquired "Is something wrong, sir?"

"Elena, I have a migraine coming on..." he said tiredly.

--------------------

--------------------

It was nowhere near too soon when the shiny black Land Rover pulled up at the cordoned-off intersection at 52nd street and braked. The transsexual postal worker had taken off running, looking like a cross between Angel from RENT and Captain Jack Sparrow. A satisfied _shnuff_ noise escaped the huge St. Bernard and he planted his enormous rear on the ground, daring anyone else to get anywhere near him. This dog weighed close to 300 pounds and he knew for sure and certain that NO ONE was going to fuck with him. Finally leaving his pride behind, the construction worker turned tail and ran away, screaming like a little girl. The boarhound went to join the St. Bernard, forming a thick barrier of muscle between a couple of the animal control officers and the smaller dogs - the terrier mix, Scrappy Jack, and the little Chihuahua now dubbed the Hell Rat. The triathlete jogger was still being held at bay by the retriever mix and the Heinz-57. Finally, he figured at better use of his speed would be doing the same as the construction worker and running away. The two cats chased him a little ways, then doubled back to hover around the Heinz-57.

Now the big part of the fight was between the three remaining male animal control officers, the animal-girl, the Great XIII and the Dire-dog. Only one of the men had a working catch-pole and he was working on trying to corral one of the dogs long enough to loop it. The only problem was that the Great XIII had the dexterity of a herding dog and so was able to dodge the catch-loop easily and the Dire-dog was the size of a large Shetland pony with twice the strength. Plus, with the way the both of them were crisscrossing all over the place, it was impossible to get a handle on just one dog. The other two officers were attempting to use their broken catch-poles as weapons against the animal-girl. What was odd was that she was on the _offensive_ more often than not. The Boxer was now circling the group, acting like a sweeper in a soccer game, keeping the offense and the defense in their places. Standing there the whole time and now - because of the crowd - out of Officer Brighton's sight, was the homeowner.

The three Turks delivered to the scene had tumbled out of the Land Rover with the usual amount of festivity - Reno getting his hair tangled in his seatbelt as usual and Rude forgetting the E-brake and Kandi screaming at the Rover's lurch. The three of them together ambled over to the chaos, assessing the situation from a distance first. It was like facing down a herd of angry Chocobos, except these had teeth. The muscles of the group - the St. Bernard, the boarhound, and now the retriever mix, still formed their barrier. Behind them, the terrier mix, Scrappy Jack, and the Hell Rat, growled menacingly, baring their little teeth as though they were all the size of Rottweilers. The two cats flanked the St. Bernard, knowing nothing was going to bother them if they stayed where they were. Reno's eyes were the first to go buggy, Rude shook his head and blinked behind his shades, and Kandi tilted her head at the last remaining fighters - that was a GIRL in there!

"So... who wants to do what, yo?" Reno asked, half casually and half nervously.

"You're the specialist in unusual situations," Kandi shot back. "So it's up to you, Mr. Expert."

Rude stayed silent, watching the battle - that girl was good - and Reno threw up his hands.

"Hey, I'm genuinely stumped by this one, yo!" yelled the redhead. "I thought animal control would at least have been able to take one or two of the dogs down. Do you see that giant-ass motherfucker!? He probably outweighs the three of us! No way in hell am I takin' on that joker, yo!"

He had been referring to the St. Bernard, who _shnuff_ed again - then Rude spoke up in his quiet way...

"Hang on..." he said in a low voice, eyeing the homeowner. "What's that guy do---"

There was a noise like small explosion and two simultaneous deep yelps of pain - everyone present screamed and looked around for the damage. Standing there with his freshly-discharged weapon was the homeowner, gritting his teeth and looking pointedly nervous now. He had been aiming directly at the girl, figuring she was some kind of witch and getting rid of her would turn the dogs and cats back into normal animals and make it easier for animal control to deal with. The girl had been clear in his line of fire, her back to him and nothing blocking her. However... it was the Great XIII _and_ the Dire-dog who had been hit by the dispersing shrapnel from inside the shotgun slug. Both of them had been _directly in front of her_ - had the shrapnel somehow _arced around her_? By all rights, her back and chest should have been riddled! Both giant dogs fell and the girl fell on her knees beside them.

"You bastard!" screamed Officer Brighton. "What did I tell you about discharging a weapon in a residential area!?"

She charged over to the man, cuffed him, and was reading him his rights faster than anyone could say 'boo'. The crowd milling around wasn't sure who to turn its support to now. Wasn't the girl the 'bad guy' in all of this? Well, the homeowner certainly looked like the bad guy now. No matter what she was doing, it seemed excessive to open fire on a teenager and a pack of dogs. The "muscle wall" was shifting over towards their fallen friends - since the shrapnel had been so dispersed, it hadn't hit any vital areas on the giant dogs, but they were still in a lot of pain. With the girl on her knees, the three animal control officers closed in on her. None of the "muscle" dogs had the dexterity or speed to avoid them, but they did all they could do, which was place themselves between the enemy and their friends. The girl reached one skinny hand out and touched the St. Bernard's giant head.

"Enough..." she told her friends in that low voice of hers, her head bowing over in total defeat.

When one man's hand reached over the St. Bernard - who growled threateningly - touched her shoulder, quick as a flash - as if out of reflex - she caught it, sinking all ten claws and as many teeth as possible into his wrist. Her fallen friends crawled closer to her, still trying to protect her. The "light brigade" - the terrier mix, Scrappy Jack, and Hell Rat - curled up as small as they could around her knees. Slowly coming to a halt, the Boxer came and rested his big, square head on the girl's opposite shoulder and the Heinz-57 let out a low whine as he came to sit with his wide, shaggy chest against her back. Both cats slunk out from behind the St. Bernard's legs to come and sit in their friend's lap. Still as fierce and elegant as ever, the boarhound sat gracefully beside his pack leader and licked her left ear. The other two men - ie, the ones not being bitten - produced the last working catch-poles, preparing to take the dogs away.

"See that those monsters are destroyed! All of them!" yelled the homeowner as he was being shoved into Officer Brighton's police cruiser.

Janice called back an affirmative reply.

"Well..." Reno said apprehensively. "Looks like they didn't need us after all..."

Swallowing hard, he turned to walk away but a strong hand caught his arm - he turned around to see not Rude, but Kandi with a deathgrip on his elbow.

"This is wrong and you know it..." she snarled at him. "Somebody has to help that girl."

Rude swallowed hard as well and looked down at his girlfriend.

"Kandi... you know it's not Turk business to---" he cut off, not sure how to say this without sounding totally heartless.

Reno, unfortunately, was used to being heartless when he had to be.

"C'mon, this paperwork's gonna be a bitch already," he said in a hard voice.

Kandi let go of his arm as if dropping a poisonous spider and kicked him hard in the shins before turning on her heel and heading over towards the gathering of dogs and cats. The "light brigade" and the cats had been taken already and were being loaded into the first truck as the Heinz-57 whined and struggled against his catch-loop. The boarhound was growling low and threatening as he was restrained with a muzzle. A perfect tribute to his breeding, the retriever mix went with only minimal fuss, looking back sadly at his friends. The Boxer was resisting spectacularly, pulling at his catch-loop until he couldn't breathe - he was finally just restrained on people-power and loaded up. Finally left were the giants - the St. Bernard refused to leave his friend's side and there wasn't much that was moving a near-300-pound-dog. The fallen duo were probably just going to be left where they were. Kandi marched up to Janice and pointed her standard-issue handgun between the large woman's eyes.

"By order of ShinRa, you people aren't going anywhere until we get a few things ironed out," she ordered.

The burly woman just nodded and motioned to her coworkers to stop all activity - Reno came jogging over, yelling for Kandi to stop what she was doing.

"Go to hell, Reno," Kandi growled back at him, flipping her superior a one-finger salute as she knelt down by the girl's side.

The girl's thin, dirty face was obscured by her straggly waves of sable-brown hair - little sniffling noises let the world know she was crying.

"Hey..." Kandi said softly, figuring now wasn't the best time to touch the girl seeing as the first man had only just prised her teeth and claws out of his wrist. "Everything's gonna be okay, sweetie... We're gonna get everything settled."

Her only response was a combination of a growl and a sniffle.

"Kandi, she probably can't even speak," Reno said, his voice not unkind, but still hard. "I know this is hard for you, but part of being a Turk is knowing that you can't save everyone. There's nothing you can do for her - you have to accept that. And anyway, she doesn't need Turks - she needs mental help."

He was met with a punch to the side of his knee.

"ShinRa has the best mental caregivers on the Planet," Kandi retorted. "But I don't want to see her get lost in the institution system. She needs _help_."

Reno furrowed his brow in frustration - there was just no getting through to some people the easy way!

"Look! There's some people in this world who are just beyond it!" he yelled, waving his arms. "Some people are just so profoundly _out there_ that there's nothing anybody can do for them! Look at her! She's been living on the streets with a pack of dogs for gods-knows-how-long! She probably thinks she's one of them! Can she speak!? Can she even walk upright!?"

Before Kandi could speak, there was a growling noise.

"I'll thank you not to refer to me as 'she' when I'm sitting right here," snarled the black-clad teenager. "I don't need your godsdamned _help._ I need my friends."

Reno sighed in frazzlement.

"See! She doesn't want help! She's mental!"

Kandi glared at him.

"You never want help either, Mr. I-Drove-Out-Into-The-Middle-Of-ButtFuckNowhere-Ran-Out-Of-Gas-While-Totally-Lost-And-Was-Missing-For-Three-Full-Days-Because-I-Wouldn't-Ask-For-Godsdamned-Directions!" she spat. "Does that make you a mental case?! To me it says less of 'I'm mental' than 'I'm just too proud to ask for help because I want people to think I can handle myself'."

Rude stepped up behind his partner and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not just agreeing with her because she's my girlfriend," he said quietly.

While the three Turks were preparing to dissolve into an argument, the girl tugged on Reno's pant leg and he looked down to see the most pleading expression in the most startling hazel-green eyes he had ever seen.

"Please... Don't take my friends away..." she begged, one hand still clenched on his pant leg and the other resting on the St. Bernard's head. "They're all I got..."

Reno's shoulders dropped in defeat - damn his complete inability to resist a pair of pretty eyes.

"What's your name anyway?" he asked wearily - he was _so_ going to wind up regretting this.

"Nicole Christine Barsi," the girl replied without hesitation and with pride in her voice as she tossed back that ratty curtain of hair.

The red-haired man was interested already - he looked over his shoulder and yelled at Janice to start unloading those dogs.

"Reno, what are you doing?" Kandi asked in that knowing voice all females can have.

Reno shrugged his shoulders, though it wasn't very clear if he was saying "Whatever" or "I have no fucking clue" - Rude shook his head and Kandi knew those big brown eyes were sparkling with laughter behind the shades.

"You were always a sucker for big pretty eyes," the bald man said, amusement coloring his voice - then he watched the men unloading the dogs from the trucks.

Kandi followed the beshaded gaze.

"Um... Reno? What are we going to do with all these dogs?" she asked.

The redhead shrugged again.

"Figure that out later, I guess," he said dismissively.

Nicole's hazel eyes widened behind her scruffy bangs.

"What's going on?" she asked in bewilderment.

"Hey! Careful with those two! I want them at ShinRa's best vet center!" Reno snapped at the men trying to move the fallen giants - then he turned back to Nicole and gave her a wordless, enigmatic smile.

Kandi smiled as well as she helped the girl off the ground - she could marvel at her lack of injury later.

"Niki-chan, you're coming with us," she said fondly. "Welcome to ShinRa's finest - the Turks are gonna take care of you now."

Reno gravitated over towards the scrappy teenager who looked confused, scared, and ready to punch someone's lights out if they made a sudden move.

"C'mon kiddo, your friends are gonna be okay - everything's taken care of," he told her confidently, draping one long arm around her skinny shoulders - he could feel her shoulder-blades in sharp relief under her skin. "First, we're getting you some real food - I like my girls with some good curves on 'em."

The girl perked up, blushing, as she watched the St. Bernard bound into the passenger seat of the Land Rover, causing the front end of the vehicle to sink visibly. Her face split into a wide grin as she watched Kandi waving her arms and yelling "But _I called front seat!_" - the dog just _shnuff_ed at her. Reno laughed out loud at his favorite rookie Turk having a very animated argument with a dog three times her size. He guided the teenager along - she still looked so confused - and vaguely hoped Tseng wasn't going to literally have his ass mounted on the wall this time. But then, he could deal with that when it came up - right now, he just had to figure out how to fit ten dogs, most of them massive, two cats, and a potential Turk rookie into one Land Rover. His large, bald partner was bringing up the rear, the Boxer bounding around his heels.

"Gods help us..." muttered Rude.

**A/N: Well everybody, this is where we first meet Niki! In the next bit of this two-parter, we're going to see the evaluation that gives her the label everyone is so familiar with - "Clinically Insane". Look for it soon! Now, should I post it as a separate fic or a second chapter on this one? I'm leaning towards separate fic. Don't wanna run too long, y'know?**

**Reno: No such thing as too long, babe...**

**Niki: bops Reno with a chocobo plushie  
Reno: eyetwitch If you weren't so damn cute when you do that...**

**Niki: But I am, so that's what matters.**


	2. Clinically Insane

Clinically Insane

A Companion Piece To AmazonTurk's "Operation: Assassination" by Serenity-chan

_This is going to be a hell of a car ride,_ thought the three Turks in the Land Rover - they were currently transporting eight mostly-giant dogs, two non-car-friendly cats, and a teenager who still had only a minimal idea as to what was going on. The girl in black was curled up in between the Heinz-57 mutt and the boarhound, her hand resting on the Hell Rat in her lap. Stretched out in the back were a brindled Boxer, Scrappy Jack, and the terrier mix. Reno had scrunched himself up in the back seat, trying to be near Nicole - he was interested in what she'd look like once she got cleaned up. The retriever mix didn't look entirely happy with this arrangement - he had planted his rear in Reno's lap and refused to budge. Kandi, pouting as fiercely as she could, was curled up in the back, having lost her argument with the St. Bernard in the front seat. The bald Turk squinched his eyes shut behind his shades, hoping the vehicle would continue moving with the extra weight of seven large dogs in it.

"Ew! Stop slobbering on me!" squealed Kandi as the Boxer made friends with her ear. "EEP! That tickles!"

"At least you don't have about eighty pounds of stupid in your lap," grumbled Reno, poking the retriever who stared at him reproachfully with those big puppy eyes no one with half a heart can ever resist. "Aw, godsdammit... Don't look at me like that!"

"Motherfucking fuckhead!" Rude swore loudly as the St. Bernard decided to thank him for the ride with a giant drooly kiss right on the side of his bald head - it was going to take forever to get all that spit out of his ear.

Even with all the noise and squirming animals - Turks included - a small black-clad teenager, exhausted from what had just happened, quietly laid her head on her Heinz-57 friend's shaggy coal-grey chest. The retriever was calming down as well, cuddling up to his new red-haired pillow as he lay down and propped his head on the boarhound's flank. Curling up as well, said boarhound let off a toothy yawn and laid his head on his human friend's thigh. Hell Rat was on his back in the girl's lap, snoring lightly and twitching his left back foot every once in a while. Heinz-57 nuzzled his grizzled nose against the girl's head, then rested said nose on her shoulder. The Boxer nudged Kandi's shoulder with his squared-off nose, not quitting until she scratched him behind his un-cropped ears, bitching vociferously but smiling anyway. Scrappy Jack had wriggled up into her lap and was rooting around, trying to find the most comfortable way to wrinkle and leave hair all over her skirt. Reno ceased his loud complaining as he realized just how calming it was to run his hand over the retriever's half-coarse, half-silky back. The giant dog in the front seat was content to drool all over the dashboard. Hazel eyes slid closed and, when Rude checked his rear-view mirror, he saw a teenage girl sound asleep with her best friends keeping her safe.

However, the peace was not to last - he could hear police sirens not very far behind him and somehow had the feeling they were aimed at _him_. He furrowed his brow, trying to stave off the oncoming headache - apparently the ShinRa migraine was now contagious. His first thought was to gun it and outrun the cops, like he was used to doing, but doing so right now would be impossible. For one thing, this was a Land Rover - it wasn't any kind of racing vehicle and even under normal circumstances couldn't outdo a cop car. The other thing was that with the extra 300 pounds currently sitting in the front seat and ruining the CD player with its prodigious drool output, if he tried to gun it, he'd spin the Rover straight off the road. So all there was left for the bald man to do was reluctantly pull over when he saw the blue lights in his side mirror. He eased into a stop, pulled the emergency brake, and wiped the drool on his pants as he flicked the window down.

"License and registration," the young male officer said boredly - this was just a routine traffic stop to him, at the end of his shift, when he wanted to go home and watch the game if his wife hadn't already commandeered the television. "And I'll need to know if there's a reason your vehicle is leaning to the front right side."

"Reason's right here," grunted Rude as he placed his driver's license, ShinRa ID card, and the now-very-soggy registration packet in the officer's hand.

The young man's eyes widened in startlement as the drooling, 300-pound "reason" leaned over and snuffled at him as he glanced at Rude's information. He turned, shaking his head, to go back to his cruiser and run a scan on the license and the ShinRa ID - there had been a rash of fakes lately - and out the corner of his eye caught a glimpse of the very back. Curled up on the car's storage floor with two MORE dogs was the newest ShinRa Turk! Rolling his eyes once he got to his car, he ran the check and everything turned up kosher. He felt a bit torn - part of him was telling him to really loose his frustration with today and read the whole vehicle's passengers the riot act and the other part urged him to invite the guy driving out for a beer. The bald guy looked like he could really use one. As he stumped back to the Land Rover, the officer got a look in the back seat of the vehicle and his eyes widened. There was Reno of the Turks, a huge dog in his lap, two other massive mongrels, a Chihuahua, and a teenage girl - all of them out like lights. Well, he thought they were - the red-haired Turk must have noticed he was no longer in motion, because he cracked one eye open.

"Mmmph! 'sgoin'on?" he grumbled, yawning widely and looking around for the disturbance.

The officer ignored the redhead and turned back to Rude.

"Um... sir... I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle..." he said apprehensively. "I was going to just let you off, but this situation is so unsafe that I'm going to have to... um..."

He trailed off when he saw the glare the bald man was fixing him with - Rude had taken his shades off and was repeatedly cracking the knuckles of his other hand.

"Uh... Just... Get where you're going safely and have a nice night!" the young officer said, slightly hysterical - he was going home for a drink. Now.

Rude nodded as if to silently say "Damn straight, bitch" and kicked the car back into 'drive', feeling the Land Rover give another uneasy lurch as it set off. The 300-pound drool-production-unit gave the bald man a withering look as he was jolted unceremoniously from his spot on the dashboard. In spite of himself, the normally-unshakable-and-ever-stoic Rude reached out a hand - carefully avoiding the drooly area - and scratched the gigantic dog behind one furry ear. Reno, who had halfway awoken during the incident with the traffic officer, cracked his neck and asked what had happened. When he heard Rude's quiet admonition of "Don't worry about it", he went right back to sleep. The bald man figured that this would be the end of their troubles for today...

... Boy, was he wrong! It seemed like this just wasn't his day now, was it? The extra weight was causing the already-gas-guzzling Land Rover to get about two miles to the gallon. He was jamming the accelerator, trying so hard to get the vehicle to keep moving... and then he hit a nail. The back right tired made a horrible sound, throwing the rear of the Rover off-balance with the air pressure going haywire. So the back of the vehicle swung around, pivoting around the weighted-down right front and sending everyone sprawling. The dogs all started to yelp, whine, and bark at once as the cats decided to claw their way up various parts of Reno, yowling fiercely. Rude let out a loud, wordless roar, Reno was swearing like a sailor, and Kandi was yelling combinations of profanities never heard before. But everyone present shut their eyes and tried to protect their ears as the teenager screamed bloody murder.

After a screeching, skidding spin and a solid _thump_, Rude opened his eyes to find that the Land Rover had spun _across three lanes of traffic_ and come to rest on the right-hand side. The only unusual thing, besides the fact that they hadn't flipped, was that the Rover was pointed _towards_ on-coming traffic. And now it was completely out of gas - the bald man couldn't even spin the tires. Letting out a string of curse words to put a stand-up comedian with Tourette's to shame in a low, dangerous monotone would not get the Rover started again, so Rude closed his eyes and counted to ten. Surprisingly, it calmed him down enough for him to turn around in his seat and ask if everyone was okay. He heard Reno's unnecessarily loud yell of "I'm okay!" and heard a frightened squeak from the teenage girl - she seemed to be fine. But he had to smile when he saw Kandi's high-heeled foot kicking up in the air behind the back seat. He opened his mouth to ask when he heard a muffled "Get this thing offa me!" and figured all was well.

Cracking his neck, he pushed open the door of the Rover and got out to have a look at the damage. The tires were sunk deep in thick dirt - not mud, just really loose, porous dirt. The sides of the vehicle, originally black, were now the same dark, dirty brown as their surroundings. Reno had put his window down and was sticking his head out like some kind of weird turtle, trying to figure out what was going on, asking "Is it just the tire?" repeatedly. Rude had to try _really_ hard to resist the urge to throttle his red-headed partner as he said "No... We're also out of gas." Kandi answered with another string of swear words and threw her shoe at Reno, who protested with "Hey, _I_ didn't wreck the damn thing!" and woke up the retriever in his lap. The stinking mutt had slept through the whole to-do and was now licking Reno's face. Everyone in the car could hear Rude's deep voice, trying hard not to bellow in the ear of the ShinRa receptionist.

"Yeah... Put me through to Tseng right now... Grr... No, I don't remember the exact extension so could you _please_ just patch me through him _now_!? ... Yeah, this is Rude... Okay, I'll hold."

There was an audible _snik_ noise and everyone jumped as Rude's phone began to blast 'This Is How A Heart Breaks' by Rob Thomas.

"RENO!" the bald man yelled over the noise. "How many times do we have to tell you not to fuck with the 'hold' music!?"

The redhead grinned, pleased with himself, and cracked off with "At least once more" - this earned him Kandi's OTHER shoe being thrown at his head.

"Thanks, partner," Reno said affectionately - Rude was about to punch him when he realized Reno was speaking to the retriever in his lap, who had caught the shoe and was now contentedly chewing on it.

"Okay... Tseng?" went Rude's 'phone voice' again – he sounded so polite and professional. "Yeah... It's Rude... Uh-huh... We've got a bit of a problem here..."

Everyone may have imagined it, but they _thought_ they heard an audible groan from Tseng's end of the line that sounded a bit too much like "_Oh Leviathan, what now?!_"

"Um... Yeah... We've got the girl with us..." said Rude, listening to Tseng groan again - it hadn't been imagined. "And we got the situation cleared up..."

The St. Bernard chose that exact moment to announce his presence to the world with a short, loud, deep-voiced _RUFF!_

"_Rude... dare I ask... but is that a---_"

Furrowing his brow again, the bald man looked uncomfortable.

"Well you see, sir---" he began uncertainly.

Reno decided to put his two cents in, grabbing the phone from his partner.

"Yeah, Bossman, it's okay... We've just... Well... Let's just call it a creature feature!" the redhead rhymed brightly, ignoring the solid _thump_ on the back of his head from Kandi - the teenager giggled at the whole performance and Reno continued. "Uh, yeah... The girl wouldn't come without her friends... Hey, this was Kandi's idea! I was trying to _stick with policy_ and _not interfere_ and was trying to get everyone to _come back _and _do their stinking paperwork_... No, sir, that's not bullshit..."

The red-haired man pouted as Kandi snatched the phone away from him and began explaining the situation to her Wutaian boss. Tseng and Elena were sitting in the Senior Turk's office, both of them staring in complete and total bewilderment at the desk phone, which was once more on 'speaker'. They were catching maybe every third and fourth word of what was now a three-part monologue from the Turks on the field end. Rude's voice broke in with "_eight of them in the car_" at the same time as Reno yelled "_giant-ass motherfuckin' dog_". Kandi grabbed the phone back and was trying to continue her story with the Boxer trying to eat the phone, so the most they got out of her was "_Um... Yeah... HUNTER! Quit it!_" Tseng already knew this was bad - they had named at least one of the animals, meaning they were bonding with them. There was a scuffle on the field end of the line and the sound of a window protesting to being rolled down. After a couple of growls and another scuffling noise, an unfamiliar voice took the line.

"Hi, uhm... Tseng... s-sir..." stuttered a hoarse, low, confused-sounding voice. "Uh yeah... I'm the girl... Mm-hm... Yeah... Sorry for all the trouble... I swear, my friends didn't mean for anything bad to happen..."

Rude made a grab for his phone, knocking it from the girl's hand - she was sitting on the roof of the Land Rover - and watched it crack on the ground, killing the line.

"Fuck," he said blankly, looking down at the broken cellular apparatus.

Tseng heard the line crack and go dead, sighing and rolling his eyes - he could feel with complete certainty that there was going to be chaos in the office very soon. He punched another button and waited for the receptionist in the lobby to pick up, humming along rather tunelessly to some crooner's rendition of "Just The Way You Look Tonight" as it played for 'hold, please' music. Right now, he was really trying hard not to think about what kind of damage ten dogs were going to do to the Turks' office floor. This was definitely going to wind up with President ShinRa's involvement and it wasn't going to be pretty. And what about this girl? She had been half in hysterics from the sound of her on the phone. Elena, who was still sitting next to him, stared at the phone for just a little while longer, then got up to go back to her own office.

"Elena, please stay," said the Wutaian man, startling the blonde.

She nodded and sat back next to Tseng, placing a hand on his shoulder and asking him what was wrong.

"Do I need a migraine to keep you close?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her - she giggled and laid her head on his shoulder.

The crooner's singing stopped and there followed the sound of a phone connecting, the lobby receptionist picking up and asking him what he needed.

"I need a patch through to ShinRa Center for Veterinary Services," the Wutaian man said briskly. "I need to know about all check-ins for today."

If the receptionist thought it odd for the leader of the Turks to be inquiring about veterinary check-ins, he gave no indication of it - he asked the Senior Turk to hold momentarily as he turned to his computer and procured the necessary records.

"_Yes, sir, we have a pair of kittens due for spaying, the local elementary school's mascot - a giant Wutaian tortoise - apparently having digestive problems, Rufus ShinRa's hamster has a skin irritation and is pulling his fur out..._" the receptionist rattled off rather boredly, not seeing the point of all this. "_Oh... That's sort of interesting - I didn't know civilians could keep things like that..._"

"What is it?" asked Tseng.

"_North Corel mine rat - this thing has to be the size of a small dog!_" the receptionist told him.

"They can't..." muttered Tseng. "See that it's returned to North Corel where it belongs - those things breed like crazy - and have the owner contacted for an inquiry. Anything else today?"

There was a tapping noise from the receptionist's end.

"_Yes, sir, there is... Highly unusual this one too..._" said the male voice - Tseng's ears perked up at this and he asked what it was, to which the male receptionist responded "_Uh... Let's see... There's these two gigantic dogs who received fair-to-serious shrapnel wounds from a shotgun in some kind of hoo-hah down on 52nd Street... From the pictures here, one looks like a cross between some kind of big sheepdog and the guardian of Cosmo Canyon, that lion-dog thing Red XIII. Hmm... The other looks like a crossbreed too - only it looks like it's more Dire wolf than actual dog. From the listing here, that one was hit worse... and... probably going to be destroyed after the lab gets a look at it._"

"When is the lab set to look at it?" inquired the Senior Turk, thinking quickly on his feet. "I'd like to have a look at it myself - the Turks have been considering using animals in recon."

Another string of tapping...

"_Let me see... uh... well, probably first thing tomorrow morning,_" answered the receptionist. "_The lab opens at eight AM, so you could come down tonight and get a look at him. This thing's about the size of a small pony, so I dunno if they can do anything with him..._"

"Thank you," Tseng said politely, pinching the bridge of his nose again. "I'll be there sometime before nine tonight."

After getting assurance that there would be someone to escort him through the lab, Tseng thanked the man again and hung up the phone - Elena was frowning deeply by his side.

"What's on your mind?" the Wutaian man asked his blonde junior.

"It doesn't seem right that they're just going to destroy it," the blonde said in a hard voice.

Tseng put his arm around her shoulders.

"Elena... I know you're almost not a rookie anymore, but there's things you still have to understand," he told her, his voice not unkind. "The dog is probably a hybrid of some kind and would be dangerous if released to an adoptive owner. It's in everyone's best interests..."

Elena opened her mouth to protest when Katrina, one of the other new recruits, popped her head into the office.

"Hey Bossman!" she yelled, cracking her gum at the end. "Reno just buzzed me and told me to have a chopper sent out there. Can I drive it this time?"

Figuring nothing else, by karmic right, could possibly go wrong tonight - it was now 7:30 - the black-haired man nodded and listened to the young woman singing "Master and Servant" as she made a dash out of the office.

"Couldn't you do something for it?" Elena asked, her attention still on the dog.

Tseng sighed hard.

"I already bought it enough time for me to go and look at it," he said wearily. "Anyway..."

His next words were drowned out by the chopper being driven by Katrina whizzing past the window of his office - she circled the building a few more times and then Tseng and Elena watched her zip off in the direction of 52nd Street. The view from the ShinRa building was such that they could watch her sending a drop line down at an intersection a few blocks over. A confused look fell over the two Turks' faces, then realization dawned on them. That idiot Reno was just going to have the gassed-out Land Rover airlifted back to the main ShinRa building! Tseng felt a truly killer migraine coming on, but ignored it as best he could as he quickly sent an email down to the front desk. Sure enough, they heard a solid _thump_ as the Land Rover was deposited in front of the sliding glass doors.

"Shall we?" Tseng asked Elena.

"Might as well," she said heavily.

The two of them quickly made their way to the elevator, where Tseng nearly cracked the ground-floor button out of the wall - Elena pinched her own nose, thinking _Yeah, this ShinRa migraine thing was somehow becoming contagious_. Time just crawled on in silence before the metallic _ping_ of the elevator stopping was heard about ten floors below the Turks. A couple of the day-shift security guards were just getting off, so they joined the two Turks in the elevator. The awkward silence of before was now covered by discussions of tonight's football game and the cheerleaders there at. Tseng rolled his eyes, Elena wrinkled her nose, and the elevator continued, stopping again five floors above ground-level. The Turks and the security guards were greeted by the fifth-floor day-shift phone receptionist, a middle-aged platinum-blonde woman. She was engrossed in arranging things on her PDA, so a few little _beep_s and _bip_s punctuated the air every once in a while. The last five floors passed without event and after the last little metallic _ping_, everyone got off.

Tseng wanted to get right straight back on the elevator and go back to his office and _hide_ when he saw Reno standing in the middle of the lobby with a large retriever mix by his side and a giant grin on his face. The Wutaian man wondered briefly if there was such a thing as Imitrex Super-Strength – the migraine headache he was sure was not long in coming might kill him otherwise. Bounding in through the main sliding glass door of the ShinRa building were a Boxer, Scrappy Jack, Hell Rat, and the boarhound with Kandi behind them. The terrier mix and the Heinz-57 entered as well, the littler dog weaving about the giant mutt's legs like a slalom on an agility course. Bringing up the rear was the ever-beshaded Rude, accompanied by the largest dog Tseng had ever seen in his entire life. In each of the big bald man's muscular arms, there was cradled a cat – one black and white with an angular, lion-like face and the other tortoiseshell-patterned with the soft face of a kitten not quite grown up. Tseng shook his head in disbelief, but when the image of ShinRa's now canine'd lobby wouldn't shake away, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Rude, far be it from me to ask any more questions about this already-insane situation, but---" he began.

"I can explain about the cats," the large man interrupted in a deadpan voice.

Tseng shook his head again, now swearing that he was starting to get vertigo from it.

"No, I was going to ask where the girl is," he clarified, looking around for what he assumed was going to be something barely human that resembled more of a wild animal.

Instead, slowly and apprehensively, a head of long, ratty, sable-brown hair poked its way around a corner, the bangs of said hair partially obscuring a thin, dirty face. The owner of the scraggly hair and unwashed face brushed her bangs behind her ears with her fingernails and eyed each person in the lobby shyly, focusing on each one in turn. Just as his red-haired compatriot before him had done, the first thing Tseng saw about the girl's face was her striking pair of hazel-green eyes. Her Converse-clad feet shuffled nervously and she was also fiddling with the hem of her black ribbed tank top, which was fraying rather badly – the picture of Captain Jack Sparrow splashed across her chest was faded with age and wear. Slowly, she inched forward into the lobby, her gaze darting from corner to corner like a frightened ferret. The boarhound, who had been inspecting a potted plant, doubled back and proceeded to press his big chestnut-red head against her hip, offering his support.

Tseng, after shaking his head once more and asking Leviathan to tell him _please_ that this was some kind of dream, turned to the grinning redhead and spoke again with, "Reno, why don't you introduce me to the young lady?" There was no way in hell the Wutaian man would ever admit it, but he figured that for right now, it would be the best idea to let Reno handle the girl, in case she bit people or something. It wasn't that he was _afraid_ or anything like that – again, not that he would admit if he was – but human bites could be worse than animal, you know? It was a side of him much made fun of among his subordinates – yes, the great Senior Turk was a germaphobe sometimes. Reno approached the girl slowly, showing her both his hands to make sure she knew he meant no harm – the retriever mix stayed at his side to show the girl that the redhead was trustworthy, then nosed her knee. She looked up at the redhead and gave him a small smile, silently asking him "_Is this when I get my friends back?_" Of course, he couldn't understand her thought-speech, wasn't even aware of it, so he draped his arm around her shoulders and guided her over to the Wutaian man.

"This…" he announced to his boss with a flourish. "… is Nicole Christine Barsi."

Tseng watched as the girl drew herself up to her full height – and that wasn't much – at the use of her full name, seeing the spark of pride that appeared in those hazel-green eyes.

"Well, Nicole," the Wutaian said politely. "You must have skills to be hired by ShinRa and to specifically join the Turks, you need a formal recommendation from either Reno, Rude, or myself. Keeping this in mind---"

"She's got a recommendation from me!" the redhead proclaimed, giving the girl's shoulders a squeeze and winking charmingly at her. "What can I say? I like her already."

Tseng decided it would be prudent not to mention Reno's habit of instantly taking a liking to anything that was at least mildly attractive and had breasts – at least not right at the moment. He did, however, tell Reno to go up to his office and find the paperwork to make the formal recommendation if he was really serious about this girl joining the Turks. Reno pulled a disgusted face at the mention of paperwork and shuffled off towards the elevator, only to hear a bit of a nervous sniffle behind him. The girl looked like she was getting ready to bolt – her eyes were glancing around all over the place, looking for the best escape route and she was shifting her feet around as if preparing to run. It wasn't that she was scared of Kandi or Rude and even Tseng seemed nice enough – she just didn't like the building itself. It reminded her too much of the medical building where all her shrinks had been – the therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, "talking doctors", and even neuropsychologists. At the memories rushing back, her face went pale beneath the grime and she wavered back and forth, her eyes threatening to roll back in her head. Reno had watched the whole process and doubled back towards her, telling Tseng he'd go find the stinking paperwork later.

"Well, I guess that's fine," Tseng finally conceded. "I do need a second Turk to help me oversee the lab procedures."

Rude's brow twitched indignantly at this – he was a Turk too!

"Um, sir…" he offered in his quiet, low voice.

The Wutaian man had to hide a smile at the sight that greeted his eyes – the black-and-white cat had curled up the crook of Rude's right arm and was kneading on the large man's jacket as if he thought it was his _mommy_ and the tortoiseshell cat was biting Rude with everything she had.

"Rude, you seem to be fairly well-occupied," said Tseng, barely managing to keep the amusement out of his voice at first, then cracking out "… as a scratching post…"

"Wow… did our resident stick-up-his-ass Wutaian Tseng just… make a joke?" sputtered Kandi, approaching the Wutaian man and feeling his forehead. "He's not feverish…"

A "hmph!" noise came from said resident stick-up-his-ass Wutaian.

"I happen to have quite a good sense of humor – pardon me if it hasn't been boiled down to drunken shenanigans, blatant sexual humor, and references to human bodily functions such as flatulence," he said half-graciously, giving the tall, oblivious redhead a pointed glance.

If the redhead had noticed the dig taken at him, he gave no indication – however, he was rounding on Tseng with a different anger in his eyes.

"Lab procedures? What kinda lab procedures? 'the hell's goin' on?" he demanded – he was now pointing at the girl. "She's been shakin' like that since you mentioned it and you three are over here havin' yer little giggle-fest!"

Indeed, the girl was frozen stock-still where she stood, her whole body shaking uncontrollably – all of her old memories coming back to her at once were becoming too much for her. Reno, looking very concerned approached her carefully and wrapped his arms around her, accompanied by Kandi, who had her hands on her shoulders. Rude, of course, stayed right where he was, still being used as a human scratching post and still being bitten – and he was now being drooled on by the large black-and-white puddle of stupid that was sound asleep now. The bald man figured he was probably just going to have to get a new jacket – hell, a new suit, since the giant St. Bernard had managed to drool on his pants as well. Elena, who had been standing right in the back, closest to the elevator, backed closer to said elevator, wanting to be out of the way if the girl snapped and decided to charge someone. Tseng's shoulders dropped a bit, but he pulled them straight back up and approached the girl and her comforters. The huge boarhound at her side growled at the Wutaian man, but he ignored it entirely.

"Due to the… unusual circumstances… regarding this girl's… introduction…" he began, his voice not unkind, but choosing his words as carefully as he possibly could. "... it is necessary by company policy to have her checked out."

"Bullshit!" hollered Reno, the unnecessary loudness of his voice causing everyone within three feet of him to jump for the sake of their ears. "There's no such policy and we all know it, including you – hell, even though it's probably more because we've never had anything like this happen before."

_Anything like this_… The words rang out in the girl's mind and tears came to her eyes – she knew he was talking about her, because she wasn't as stupid as everyone said she was, and she remembered what it was like to always be referred as an "it" or a "that". Her last year of school, a boy had looked at her only friend in the lunch room and had asked "_Hey Austin, how does it feel to be sitting next to __**that**__?"_ She and Austin had definitely had a strange friendship – he was good-looking and insanely popular, while she was considered 'weird' and was widely disliked, if not downright hated. That day, he had kept his mouth shut, unable to say anything to defend her but unable to say anything to defend himself either. He couldn't choose her over them, but he couldn't rightly choose them over her. Back in the present, she was just now aware that she had tears falling down her cheeks, but no sound was coming out of her – Reno had noticed and tightened his arms around her a little. Tseng looked down at her sympathetically.

"It shouldn't be anything major – just a few psych-lab tests and then a routine physical," he told her.

"I hate doctors," she growled, her mood switching from melancholy to defiant – if the subject was pushed, she was going to switch very quickly to downright angry.

However, it was Tseng's job to push the subject, so push he did!

"Come along now," he told her firmly, taking hold of her wrist. "OW!"

The exclamation from the Senior Turk was highly unexpected and he pulled his hand back quickly – everyone looked at him in confusion, including a couple of passers-by.

"She bit me!" he explained. "Reno, you are now fully responsible for her transport to the labs. I'm not touching her again!"

Reno looked down at the girl with a grin – she had her claws flexed and her teeth halfway bared – and honestly thought it was up there in the cutest things he had ever seen in his life.

"Hey, it's all right," he told her, draping one arm around her shoulders as he was becoming so fond of doing. "It's most likely just a couple of questionnaires to make sure you're not gonna go postal and kill everybody in the building if you burn yourself on the coffee maker. And yeah, the physical's annoying, but you seem to be in pretty good shape, if a little on the skinny side. They'll probably send you right along."

He had said "most likely" and "probably" because in all honesty, he didn't _know_ what they were going to be doing and he really didn't want to see her scared – for someone who was such a badass in a fight, it seemed kind of wrong for her to be all sad and frightened. The girl looked up at him in a combination of fear and defiance – oh yeah, he was in for a fight trying to get her down to the labs. His arm was still around her shoulders and she was actually _growling at him_ – he figured now would be the best time to either break physical contact with her or put her in a full Nelson hold. Since fighting the girl who was about to be one of his co-workers didn't seem quite kosher – hell, he didn't fight girls unless they picked on him first, like that ninja brat – so he backed off quietly. Everyone present looked at him funny – had they ever seen Reno back off before at all, quietly or otherwise? The redhead ignored the peanut gallery and decided, for once, to use his brain to get this situation handled.

"Hey, I think all the labs are in the same wing – including the vet lab," he said brightly. "Maybe we can go check in on your friends after you're done?"

Tseng opened his mouth to say something, but let out a quiet yelp instead as Elena drove a high heel into his foot – gritting his teeth, he conceded.

"Really?" the girl demanded suspiciously, giving him the shiftiest eyes he had ever seen – could she not stop being adorable for five minutes!?

Reno, feeling like a total stooge, nodded as best he could – there were certain advantages to being ShinRa's finest and now he hoped unlimited access to the labs was one of them. He was increasingly getting the feeling that if this girl didn't see her big furry friends soon, she was going to throw a royal conniption fit and _he_ was going to be on the receiving end of it. Not that he minded biting every once in a while, but watching her sink her teeth _into_ that one animal control guy's wrist was a little much. He smiled reassuringly as best he could, patted the girl on the head – grateful that she didn't snap at him – and placed a hand on her shoulder. Her face lit up in a smile and, with Reno's encouragement, she followed him and Tseng in an unknown direction – she was having her first lesson in trusting her co-workers. She hoped they wouldn't steer her into anything unpleasant…

As was the pattern for tonight, she was very, incredibly wrong. As the sliding glass doors slid open, with a tiny bit of lag, Nicole, Reno, Tseng, and the dogs were ushered into the whitest, sterile-est waiting room anyone had ever laid eyes on. Nicole was already fidgeting as Tseng left her with Reno and approached the receptionist, an irritable-looking woman in her fifties who appeared to be packing up for the night. She looked out at the assortment of Turks, dogs, and lone teenager and frowned. Nicole watched as Tseng talked to the receptionist, hiding behind Reno to avoid the woman's disapproving stare, and felt the color dropping out of her face. She had her hand on Reno's arm, her finger's gripping the fabric of his black jacket – the redhead looked over his shoulder and smiled warmly at her, trying to tell her without words that everything would be okay. The smile she gave him in return was a bit sickly – she felt as if she might faint when she saw Tseng walking back towards her and Reno with a man in a white lab coat in tow.

"Nicole, I'm Doctor Michael Conyers, ShinRa's top neuropsychologists," said the man in the lab coat, extending his hand to Nicole – she bit her lip and stared at him in distrust, cringing back into an almost-animal crouch.

Reno gave the doctor an expression that was halfway between a charming smile and a threatening glare – a combination only he could pull off.

"Heh, she's just a little nervous," he told the doctor. "Doesn't like doctors much, yo."

The doctor smiled, the expression not reaching his cold eyes at all – Tseng was sickeningly reminded of Hojo but reminded himself that this girl seriously needed a mental evaluation and a physical.

"Well, we'll just get this little unpleasantness out of the way," he said in a falsely cheery voice, extending his hand again, this time taking Nicole by the shoulder.

The result was immediate, violent, and – in Reno's opinion – life-threateningly funny. Nicole's knees bent and extended in an instant, launching herself at the neuropsychologists. Her teeth sunk into his shoulder as her fingernails ripped at various parts of his body, tearing into his now not-so-white lab coat and his skin as well. Reno fell down laughing as one Converse-clad foot connected with the scientist's head, knocking him back several feet as Nicole jumped off of him and landed like a cat. Tseng glared at him in professional disapproval, but truth be told, he really didn't like the creepy white-lab-coat types either – and it did give him a good chance to assess the girl's combat skills. And Nicole wasn't about to disappoint – with a straight-up kick, she sent Doctor Michael Conyers hurtling back into a plate-glass window.

"Um…" Reno uttered. "Maybe we should just go for the physical now…"

Tseng let out a noise that sounded halfway between "agreed" and "I have a killer migraine right now". So Reno approached Nicole with an approving roar of "Great job, Niki-chan!" and threw his arm around her shoulders again. She smiled back at him and trotted out after him, accompanied by her boarhound and the lively retriever mix. Reno was still laughing to the point of tears, leaning heavily on Nicole's shoulder as if he were very drunk and reminiscing loudly about the events of just thirty seconds ago. Tseng wanted very much to turn around and strangle the red-haired ignoramus behind him with one hand, anything to get rid of his headache. Nicole was beginning to get uneasy again as she smelled that horrible over-sanitized detergent-y doctor's office smell that she hated oh-so-very much. It was making her feel sick already – she was feeling weak on her feet and she whimpered from behind Reno, earning a charming smile and a one-armed hug.

"Everything's fine, sweet thing," he told her, patting her shoulder.

Nicole let out a squeaking noise as Tseng walked out of the back with yet another guy in a white lab coat.

"Hello, Miss… Barsi, is it?" the white-lab-coated _thing_ inquired in a nice, friendly and polite voice. "Tseng here informs me that you're wanting to join the Turks? Now that's a rough business. I have to patch up stupid here… I mean Reno… on a regular basis!"

Nicole couldn't help but giggle at the reference to Reno and the comical expression on the redhead's face – this guy seemed like he was nice enough, she guessed. He was young for a doctor, maybe in his twenties somewhere, with brown hair that was tied back in a ponytail and blue eyes that laughed right along with the rest of his expression. Maybe he wasn't so bad, but he was still a doctor and those of the medical profession, psychological or otherwise, were not to be trusted in her book – ever. She was watching him engage in a good-natured verbal sparring match with Reno, the redhead fervently denying that he had gotten hurt in the recent past and the doctor quoting every injury, case number included, from memory. The doctor turned to Nicole, brushing the red-headed moron aside and asking the teenage girl to hop up on the table. She did so without much reluctance, actually smiling a little.

"All right, Miss Barsi, I'm Doctor Erick Brannen – this idiot here just calls me Doc or Dr. B," he informed her, pointing at Reno – he smiled at Nicole's completely befuddled look. "Pardon me if I seem a bit unprofessional. You see, you patch someone up enough and you see them less as a patient and more like a friend – or a dumbass who can't keep himself out of trouble!"

The teenager giggled and let the doctor check her blood pressure and her pulse.

"Wow! Your pulse just made a major jump – that's not normal!" exclaimed the doctor. "What was that from?"

"I have no idea!" squeaked Nicole – then she noticed the hand on her thigh and her face turned bright red. "Oh… _that's _why…"

Tseng glared at the redhead, who grinned around at everyone and removed his hand from Nicole's thigh with a flourish – the doctor shook his head and tried again with the stethoscope.

"Okay, we're back to normal," he said wearily, removing the stethoscope and reaching for the ear light. "So far, everything looks like it's working just fine. I figure you're probably going to have a problem with this, but you do know we'll have to do some blood work, right?"

The color disappeared from the teenager's face and her eyes widened to at least triple their normal size – her entire body was frozen, curled back like a cornered animal. Reno had seen her positioned like that several times today and was quickly becoming conditioned to something a bit like this: Niki-chan curls up somebody's getting their ass beat. He figured he should warn the doctor, but the young man had already turned his back and disappeared out the heavy door, closing it firmly behind him. The red-haired man looked over at his Wutaian boss and shrugged his shoulders – the Wutaian frowned at him and indicated the teenager with his almond-shaped eyes. Reno looked back over his shoulder at Nicole, watching her repeatedly wringing out the hem of her Captain Jack Sparrow tank top. In two long strides, he was beside her, rubbing her back as she continued sitting on the table, shaking more and more violently with each second that ticked by. Tseng looked a bit worried – those psych lab people weren't even going to touch her and she half-killed Dr. Conyers, so what the hell was she going to do when they approached her with a needle?

"Nicole Barsi?" asked a perky female voice, from a friendly-looking, thick-built woman with dark skin and braided hair who had just poked her head in the door. "I'm Rhoda and I'll be taking care of you tonight - Dr. Brannen sent me in here to do a little blood work, so let's just get that over with and you can be well on your way to joining ShinRa's finest!"

Nicole had tried to smile at Rhoda, but as soon as she got one look at the little 'kit' the dark-skinned woman was getting prepped, she went ballistic, except this time, it was Reno who was on the receiving end. About a hundred and ten pounds of frantic, very bony teenager launched itself at the redhead, clinging to him for dear life at the same time as trying to use him as a human shield. Reno squawked in protest, trying to pry the spider-monkey-like cling-wrapped teenager from his torso as said teenager tangled her limbs more fiercely with his. Normally, he would have been very turned on by something like this, but he had seen this girl when she was angry and _really_ didn't want that turned on him. Tseng took a giant step back and Rhoda just continued determinedly prepping the 'kit' – she had been trained to deal with patients who were nervous all the way up to downright hostile. And she knew she was a big lady – she had held down men close to two hundred pounds for things like this. A scrawny teenage girl should be no problem at all.

"All right, little missy," she said in a business-like tone, setting the prepped needle down for a moment. "You're a big girl, so let's cut this foolishness and get this over with. Just don't look and you'll be okay."

The dark-skinned nurse's only response was a blood-curdling, hair-raising shriek from the already-agitated teenager, who clamped her arms and legs around Reno more tightly than ever. Puffing up to make herself look serious about this, Rhoda approached the squirming bundle of Turk and rookie-to-be and, against Tseng's too-late warning, firmly took a hold of Nicole's shoulder. She saw the clawed hand shooting out at her, but thought the teenager was just threatening and held on, watching wide-eyed as said claws dug straight into the skin of her thick wrist. Yelping, Rhoda yanked her hand back and tried again with both hands this time – met with a roundhouse kick from the terrified girl. Ducking quickly, the nurse took Tseng's quick advice and scuttled away out the door, closing it tightly – the three occupants of the room heard it lock from the other side.

"Niki-chan, you really hate needles, huh?" Reno asked unnecessarily, stroking the teenager's long, sable hair and not caring that it was scraggly and unwashed – she whimpered at him, her body shaking again. "Yeah, I can't stand 'em either."

"It took Rude and I both to hold him down for his flu shot," Tseng mentioned, trying to sound as off-handed as possible, earning a snarl of '_Shut up!'_ from the redhead.

It wasn't long before Rhoda came back with three very large male nurses in tow – all of them seemed to be built along the lines of Rude, two of them looking like they were maybe even a little bit bigger. Reno still had his arms wrapped around the teenager who had her entire body wrapped around _him_ and was once again trying to pry her off. The two larger-than-Rude nurses reached out for Nicole with both hands – one of them caught her left wrist and was met with a vicious side kick, but was undeterred. Growling, Nicole jerked her wrist back towards herself, using her momentum to pull her body and Reno's close to the nurse, so that she could wrap most of her upper self around the man's arm. Her teeth sunk into his knuckles until blood streamed down her chin – still growling like an animal, and her dogs growling with her, she yanked her teeth out of his skin and spit his own blood at him.

"Da-amn!" exclaimed Reno as he noticed the man's blood on his shirt – Tseng _knew _she bit people!

The other man took her by the scruff of her neck and yanked her off the redhead – "Hey! There is _no need_ to be so rough with her!" yelled Reno – causing her to scream like a banshee, thrashing like a demon of the depths of Hell. In a move that should have been physically impossible, her right foot caught the man square in the nose and he dropped her in surprise. She landed crouched on her hands and knees like a cross between a cat and a cheerleader, still growling like some sort of unholy creature. Reno himself stepped back, now angrily glaring at the nurse who had been kicked and continuing to yell at him about being so rough with her. The third nurse, a younger man built along the same lines as Tseng – tall and willowy, with defined muscle – came at Nicole with a different approach. His hands were up to show that he meant her no harm and figuring she wouldn't attack him – true to her pack roots, she stood her ground and waited for him.

However, he broke that show of submission in a dirty move and shot his hand out to take her upper arm – she reacted instantly with a full-body tackle that took him to the ground. Reno yelled out his encouragement to her and was thwapped upside the head by Tseng, who looked like he was honestly thinking about encouraging her himself. The willowy nurse had apparently taken some kind of martial arts and was actually doing pretty well for himself against the girl – he was now motioning for Rhoda to help him. He jetted his hand out and managed to get Nicole's right arm twisted behind her – she let out a scream and kicked her left foot straight up and back, like a mule. The resulting howl of pain let every male in the building know exactly where the nurse had been hit and Nicole once more landed crouched on the linoleum. However, she was now backed into the corner with four large nurses surrounding her – she could clearly see Rhoda with the 'kit' and it made her feel faint.

Dr. Brannen had been passing by and heard the commotion – he poked his head into the room just in time to see one of the Rude-sized nurses lunge for Nicole. As he, Dr. Brannen, yelled at the nurse, Nicole bounced right straight up off the floor and landed on the man's head, using him like a springboard to take off for the door. She kicked Dr. Brannen in the ribs as she went, knocking him over backwards and hollering an apology over her shoulder as she continued running through the halls. A female doctor who had been buzzed about the chaos took hold of Nicole's right shoulder but was badly bitten when she tried to pull the girl aside. Reno, who had also been backed up against the wall by the nurses, readily assisted the boarhound and the retriever mix in throwing the nurses out of the way and running after Nicole. Tseng shrugged his shoulders and followed at a more sedate pace, stopping to help Rhoda get up from the pile but leaving the male nurses where they were – he didn't like their tactics.

One last doctor yelled out that he and seven interns had the girl cornered in an open exam room – Reno took off at a sprint, the dogs at his sides, towards the voice of the doctor. Somewhere else in the building, his Mako-enhanced hearing detected two separate sets of low rumbling – he only had a short time to wonder what it meant, quickly pushing it from his mind as he ran towards the noise. He could hear Nicole putting up quite a fight in there – already he had heard three interns' yells of "Oh my gods! She _bit me_!" His heart swelled with pride already – he was really going to get into training this one, seeing her go far in the Turks. The deep rumbling noises were getting closer and he could hear Tseng running along behind him – he knew full well that his boss could hear the sounds too. After a few seconds' contemplation, they both knew what it was – two seconds later, everyone else did too as the two giant dogs, the Dire-dog and the Great XIII, came crashing out of a wall. They had escaped from the labs and were somehow guided to their pack leader's side, knocking two interns out of the way – said interns were also nursing bleeding bites.

Five interns, three doctors and four nurses had now been bitten – Dr. Brannen had just finished wrapping his hand and was plunging right on back into the chaos boiling in the exam room. He was honestly quite interested as to how this situation would turn out – never had ShinRa's medical facilities dealt with anything like this before. The last two interns were closing in on Nicole, one male and one female – the female seemed like she was trying to clobber the girl rather than subdue her and the male seemed like he would rather be eating live jellyfish than trying to take on the animal-girl. Of course, she went for him first, leaving her mark on his wrist and then sending him to merciful unconsciousness with a sharp kick to the back of his head. Only left was the female intern – Nicole was crouched down, her four biggest dogs around her.

"Give up?" the teenager snarled, her fangs and claws bared as her friends bared their fangs as well – all of them growled together.

The blonde intern held up her hands in supplication and backed away – Nicole growled, having seen that position once today and having been tricked because of it. Another threatening growl had the blonde _scurrying_ to get behind one of her male counterparts, blatantly using him as a human shield and cowering pathetically behind him. Reno skittered into the room at the last second and skidded to a stop, knocking over three interns as Tseng crashed into him from behind and they were both knocked over by Rhoda, who came in with the dreaded 'kit'. Dr. Brannen scented trouble when Nicole curled back into her battle-stance and her dogs started closing ranks around her. Finally, he told Rhoda to put the 'kit' away – seeing as Tseng of the Turks was here, they could just put the signature on the line and be done with it all.

"Couldn't you have done that to start with?" grumbled Reno, ignoring the pointed 'looks' several of the female interns were giving him – he'd still have to come here at a later date, should he ever find himself in need of one. "And done away with all this unpleasant business?"

Dr. Brannen ignored him, busily scribbling away on a pad of paper clipped to a very official-looking clipboard and talking in hushed tones to Tseng – the redhead turned around, crossing his arms and pouting. His aquamarine eyes fell on the scene in front of him – amid all the interns, doctors, and nurses all patching themselves up from being bruised, bloodied, and bitten, was a teenage girl and her friends. The scrappy teenager had one arm around the Dire-dog's massive neck and the other hand under the Great XIII's muzzle – on her face was the biggest smile he had seen from her yet. Then his ears perked up as he heard Dr. Brannen's voice as he spoke to Tseng.

"Yeah, this is no problem," the doctor was saying. "I can just sign this paper that rules her clinically insane. There's a couple of legal bits about it, mostly concerning her mental state – like this bit here saying she won't be 'legal' until she's nineteen, but nothing that would impede her progress in becoming a Turk!"

Reno heard up to "no problem", then zoned out again as he watched the girl and her friends – completely and totally missing the bit about her not being 'legal' for an extra year. Nicole now had both arms around the Dire-dog's neck and the Great XIII had his giant creamy muzzle resting on her shoulder, both of them looking so happy just to be near her again. Upon closer inspection, Reno saw tears leaking down the girl's grimy face – entirely forgetting about eavesdropping on Tseng and Dr. Brannen's conversation, the redhead approached the girl and her two giant friends. Sliding gracefully to his knees, Reno scooted up beside the girl, placing one hand on her shoulder. Nicole lifted her head and gave him that same brilliant smile, her eyes still red and blotchy from crying – and it looked like someone had socked her in the eye. Both of them perked up as they heard people approaching the exam room – the door opened, producing Kandi, Rude – still carrying the cats – and the remaining dogs. A rather angry-looking night-shift security guard followed along behind them, listing every regulation that said exactly why they couldn't be there until Kandi whacked him in the jaw without even looking. Everyone was now looking expectantly at Tseng…

The Wutaian man turned around to address everyone with a great deal of pomp and flourish.

"It is my great pleasure to say to Miss Nicole Christine Barsi," he said regally, extending his hand to Nicole – she just sat there, stunned, so he smiled at her warmly anyway. "You are now a rookie Turk – clinically insane. And as soon as we get you cleaned up and get some food in you – I'm placing Kandi, Reno, and Rude in charge of this – you'll be ready for your first mission. Welcome to ShinRa's finest!"

**Sorry for how long it is!! I did ask if y'all wanted me to post this one separately, cos I had a feeling it was going to spiral into something really long.**


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